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This is a horrible position to be in, and a lot of folk try to drown their sorrow with liquor, or take drugs to minimize the grief. Please, don't be one of these folk! All this will do is make you feel worse, and will suppress your contingencies of saving your marriage! You must be capable to think apparently now.
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You will also study how to cope during this complicated time. It will teach you that you're not mad. A lot of people have gone through what you are right now, and have felt the direction you do. Just understanding that someone another has gone through this periodically gives us the needed strength to obtain up and repair the problems in our marriage.