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Dołączył: 21 Mar 2011
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Ostrzeżeń: 0/3 Skąd: England Płeć: Kobieta
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Wysłany: Pią 9:42, 25 Mar 2011 Temat postu: Womens Nike Shox The "Whatever" Complex |
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Once those questions or similar questions have been asked and answered, and you are still having a hard time, it is probably time to go to the person and address it. Through my own experiences, I have found that many times, after I ask myself those questions and took time to address them, I realized that perhaps this is just me -- and it isn’t an “issue.”
Instead of going to the person and confronting those “whatevers” we choose to do one or more of the following:
? Am I over-reacting?
? Am I being too sensitive?
? What is really behind the hurt or offense?
? This hurts me; why am I hurting or why am I offended?
? Is this person trying to be a friend to me by telling me the truth about as it relates to this situation, even if it hurts?
“The tendency to escape from daily reality or routine by indulging in daydreaming, fantasy, or entertainment.”
If you go to the person and address it the right way, you have freed yourself from being in bondage. I do realize that sometimes there may be fear in approaching a person because you are not sure how you will be received. However, if you go with the right attitude and your motives are right, and still the person does not seem to be receptive; in my opinion it is no longer an issue for you. You’ve done all you can.
Notice I said attempt. It is a rare person who forgets. We may move on, but rarely do we forget. Typically, when we take the “whatever” attitude, we end up manifesting all or some of the above choices. We end up holding and bottling up our emotions. As a result, it affects us in a negative way. Some of us even go so far as telling the person off in our minds. We imagine ourselves in the person’s face, giving them a piece of our mind. Some find comfort in this, but it is only temporary comfort. It may bring peace for a moment, but it won’t last because there is no closure. This is an instance where imagination can be harmful. Many times the person who we have a problem with doesn’t even know there is a problem. Granted, there are times when we are not able to confront someone face-to- face. Maybe the person is no longer living or cannot be found. In those instances,
we can still address it by coming to a place within our hearts where we find peace and no longer take an attitude of “whatever.”
Have you ever been in a situation that disturbed you or made you feel uncomfortable? It could have been on the job or at school. Perhaps it involved someone you loved, maybe a spouse, one of your children, a sister or brother, a girlfriend or boyfriend,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a cousin,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], an aunt or uncle, a niece, a nephew or an in-law. It might have been your best friend or someone on your job, a teacher, someone from your church or even your doctor. In that situation, did you choose not to address or confront whatever it was that disturbed you? Did you shrug it off by mentally and/or verbally saying, “whatever”?
? Tell someone else what happened and how we feel about it.
? Become angry and separate ourselves from the person.
? We confront the person, but in the wrong way.
? Take the attitude of “whatever” and attempt to forget.
Oftentimes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we chose not to deal with it and shrug it off because deep down we do not want to expose how we feel for fear we might be rejected or humiliated. In some instances, it is too painful to deal with so we’d rather shrug it off by saying, “whatever”. The final result fosters an unhealthy state of escapism.
Do you fall in that category? Have you ever found yourself in that category? Do you know of others who are in that category? I believe every one of us has fallen into that category at some time in our lives or know of others who often find themselves in that situation. It usually occurs when we have been given correction, constructive criticism
or when negative situations occur.
An approach I’ve used that seems to work is to ask myself the following questions:
According to Webster’s Dictionary, escapism means:
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